We all have occasional attacks of self-importance. And sometimes, those attacks appear when we define or assert that ‘special’ me that distinguishes me from others, set me apart from the competition, and highlights my uniqueness. Such posing can be a trap when I Stop looking at myself critically. Do not listen…

We have all encountered our fair share of jerks. We have the arrows on our backs to prove it. The question is, “How do you manage these (usually) men?” The essential premise here, which for some is difficult to accept, is that you cannot change the jerk’s behavior, only your…

Prayer was not always about silence. In my early Evangelical days, it was about frenetic chatter directed at heaven. Or it was a drive by prayer on our way to action. We informed God about the people that needed to be saved (converted), the wounds and illnesses that required healing…

And I won’t take it anymore! That iconic scene from the movie “Network” is fixed in many minds. But do we effectively deal with anger by sticking our heads out of the window and yelling our hearts out? No. We just dial up the rage. It may be initially cathartic…

What happens to emotionally wounded children? As a psychologist, I’ve treated adults abandoned and abused in childhood. I get their struggle. I’m plagued by similar feelings. First, patients have a deep-seated impression that they are severely flawed. And second, they feel that it is their fault. The result is a…

An excerpt from my upcoming memoir “Hearts Wide Open” During my decades as a card-carrying Evangelical, an orthodox community I came to call the Tribe, I was certain of my beliefs. Was the world created in six days? Sure. Did Jesus turn water into wine? Yes. Was he going to…

We all strive to be value-driven people. What if some values put us in conflict with ourselves, especially when that value encroaches on another priority in our lives? The dilemma we find ourselves in becomes much like when one wheel on a vehicle is out of alignment with the other…

Everyone including gurus, pastors, business leaders, political leaders, and just plain folks like ourselves fall from grace or just screw up. People say, “He was my guru until I discovered that he was fleecing others financially and sleeping with some of his followers.” Or I used to believe what he…

It was 7 pm on a Sunday. The strains of Mozart’s clarinet Concerto in A major wafted over the air. I was about to start my weekly radio show, “The Next Step,” on an Evangelical Christian station in Southern California. …